After the recent news of a snake on Aeromexico caught worldwide attention for the unusual guest on-board, Air India officials are now excited to do the same for its esteemed Indian passengers.
The third-largest airline in India in terms of passengers carried now wants to play catch-up on the action by hosting wild animals to attract on-board passengers and keep its customers in check. An official at Air India stated that since they have successfully served vegetarian passengers with non-veg food, made children to sleep on the floor, have onboard rude air hostesses who should have retired ages back, Cockroach and Lizard served in meals; why stop at just that.
He went on to add that since Air India is the pride of the nation and with stiff competition in the segment, they wish to bring in novelty in terms of quality of in-flight entertainment and also help the elderly air hostesses cop up with rude customers. In the recently concluded top officials meet, the decision was unanimous to include snakes, lions, scorpions and some other endangered species to maintain law and order in the flight.
He went on to add; Snakes like Cobras and Viper will be posted inside lavatories so that people can done the Indian style of pooping they so love by sitting on the pot with their footwear. This will also help other flyers with a clean floor and men specially will angle their shoot in the right direction so that not a single snake is disturbed. He also suggested that scorpions will be strategically placed under each seat so that people stretch just enough as not to disturb the front seated passenger. Red ants are being ordered from Africa and other parts of the world to be placed between headrests so no two passengers tussle over space.
The biggest attraction according to him would be the Lions. This added attraction will be displayed at the end of the flight during deboarding. This will help the semi-retiring air hostesses from not being pushed and shoved by customers who so wish and love to be the first ones to get out. Rottweilers will be also used to check on who’s successfully pocketing the plastic cutlery and in-house magazines, headphones and also will keep an eye on people picking their nose and cutting their toe nails during flights. They will also sniff out the ones who Fart!
He went on to add, this would be a game changer for Air India and they hope to eliminate the use of air hostesses in the near future with the use of natural fear and trust to behave put in by these animals in their customers. The huge financial burden in terms of manpower which should have been eliminated some 40 years back, but due to local Union interference has to be retained will also be naturally eliminated over time.
This indeed is a new and innovative way to conduct business and we hope the national carrier goes even greener than this in the future.