Tips on Using your useless 500 & 1000 notes

Yes you read it right, for the Rich and Corrupt, it’s time you roll the sleeves and think of ways to make better use of your black money. Since cracking your head or getting a heart attack is off the menu on finding ways to disposing off your stash, and also since hawala guys are turning you down on converting them to white.

So here we are; to your rescue.

  1. Use your old corrupt money as ass wipes

Ho Ho Ho! That’s what it’s worth in real you freaking morons, wipe your ass with each tear you drip counting the money you stole! That sure will make you feel better at the rear end when you realize how many people you stepped on to earn those huge chunks. Doctors, remember each and every sick patient’s souls you ripped to swindled them of their life savings. Government officials, how many illegal documents you signed to collect those piles of money. Businessmen, how many deals you struck illegally and used substandard products to make a fortune!

  1. Roll up your old notes and snort / smoke up!

Yes, get a high man! That would give you some temporary relief from your miserable today. Since you can’t buy expensive stuff with all that easy money anymore, splurging on booze and hookers is off limits since the banks are not dispensing enough cash, an easy fix would get you back in your dream world. It would make you feel a king again that you used to be.

  1. Glue your bundles to make artifacts / furniture

Get creative since you don’t really have a choice. Nor can you go to the banks to deposit this money, throwing them out is pointless in the fear of being caught. Get your chamchas to help you make those countless bundles of currency into decorative items and furniture.  May be you can boast to your grandchildren how the winter of 2016 one man made your existence worthless and how you found ways to still make use of the paper.

And if any of these does not help your cause,

  1. Join others to oppose the Governments decision

If you have lost all hope, maybe there is one more avenue left. Join the Opposition in their fight to get the decision reversed.  It might not help eventually, but might help you vent out some of the pent-up frustration.

In case none of the above points help, pause back and introspect on what you have achieved. If you feel to be part of an idea called New India, get all that cash to the nearest bank and pay all your dues to the nation.